"If I had an assistant..." this person would do the dishes before I could pick up the toast, rice and assorted fruit off the floor (thrown there by the Wild Card). They would love - love! - to sweep and mop at least 2x a day, all the while picking up the toys scattered about with a happy sing-song voice. They would hem all the pants I have that I cannot wear because I have not gotten around to doing it myself. (Hmmmm, this assistant is starting to sound oddly like... Cinderella. Note to Self: must get out more.)
Oh, wait. Maybe said assistant could help with more important things! They would organize all my bookshelves, dusted and alphabetized. They would back up all info on my laptop daily, they would transcribe, and organize!, all the pertinent notations I scribble on the nearest flat surface whenever the muse hits me (napkins, receipts, business cards...nothing is safe. And often it is written in crayon. I have no shame). They would never complain, interrupt or question my authority, and would always politely ask for juice. Er... I mean their break. Wait, what break?! This is my dream assistant, right?
They could mow the lawn, do 3 loads of laundry a day - and put it all away! - and then be ready to crit any lengthy dribble of writing I tossed their way. They would exercise FOR me. They would exercise the children for me. Cook dinner, shop for food, make beeswax candles (What? if I had the time I would love to have some homemade ones!).
They would wash windows, re-finish my hardwood floors. Paint the bedroom walls and sand my fabulous old Redwood door and convert it to a headboard (not a great image, but awesome bed! From craigandwhitneys.blogspot.com)... they would... well, they would be doing all this so I could finish this post.
Gotta go!
Right now I'd start with having my assistant get me out of the bed when I'm supposed to up early writing while everyone else is in bed.I'd give full permission for this glorious assistant to use bodily force to get me out of bed, dressed (checking to make certain I haven't fallen back to asleep on the toilet), and sit me down in front of my computer (no detours to the washing machine or dishwasher).
Hi Sandra!
I wish I could write early AM (I'm so not a morning person!). Soon, my youngest will hopefully not be so fussy at night, and I can go for the Owl Sessions.
K